I haven't posted on here in a LONG time....should I take it up again?

Honesty...

I haven't posted much recently, and there's a couple reasons for that...one, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be using Xanga..it seems like I should cave into the MySpace pressure soon. What do y'all think?..Two, it's been a really difficult past month or so, and I didn't really feel like revealing all of that on the internet. Even now, as I write this, I'm censoring myself. But...to be honest...I've felt pain and shock, cried many tears, and yet at the same time, been refreshed by so many evidences of God's grace and love. I know He is good and so is His perfect plan. But, the hardest part of any struggle is understanding the "why" - don't you think? We ask that question of God so often...WHY did He allow this to happen, as if our human minds could comprehend His reasoning and judgment (Romans 12). I have asked myself that question many times over the last couple weeks... but I was reading Hebrews the other night, and came across this passage from chapter 6...the bold parts struck me...especially with God making the unchanging nature of his purpose clear to us, so that we can be encouraged:

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants." And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.  Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.
- Hebrews 6

Also, God has shown me His love in so many tangible ways through my dear friends.

Friends,

 Thanks for the middle school mix, and for your emails every day
 Thanks for ice cream and our adventuresome walk through the streets of Damascus
 Thanks for praying with me before every single time I really needed it
 Thanks for being steadfast and willing to listen at midnight when we are both tired
 Thanks for trips away at the beach
 Thanks for coffee at Borders
 Thanks for dinners on Wednesdays

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13

Here are some of the pictures from my trip to the beach with Amy. The second one was taken at the beginning of our 3 mile hike through the sand with Amy's brother Ben...after which we "looked dead!" and had to be picked up by friends because we couldn't walk back. It was a great weekend!

I can finally update on my birthday. It was the most wonderful birthday! (And there have been many special ones in the past...as Kerry has recounted to me many times!)

First, I received an exciting English gift from Kerry in the mail...thank you CK! On the Friday before my birthday, Mark and I went out to Phillips' Seafood, which was really delicious. He even brought flowers, which was such a nice surprise. The night was bitterly cold, but it was an adventure walking around downtown on the icy sidewalks as fast as we could. Then the next night, he made dinner: pork tenderloin, rice, broccoli with cheese (which I love), and homemade apple cobbler, (which, as everyone now knows, is one of my favorite desserts), and then gave me a beautiful amethyst necklace as a birthday gift. The following night we went out with my family for dinner, which was really fun. My mom also made Jewish apple cake, as apples seem to be becoming the theme of all desserts made recently. Fast forward one week to last night. I was supposed to be going over to Amy Price's to hang out and catch up. But I arrived at her house to find 15 people yelling "SURPRISE!" and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" to me. Let me just tell you, I was so surprised and impressed with the two weeks of planning that went into it. You guys are so devious - especially Brian asking about my favorite desserts so nonchalantly a few days before...very sly.

Thanks guys - that was the best surprise, and I felt very loved. You are all so special to me! In a week or so, I'll be going out with Sarah, Laura, and Chrissy for my birthday - I'm looking forward to that, too.